but how do you convince little kids to wear clever costumes they won’t appreciate?
"mommy can i be batman?"
"no you and your brother are going as van gogh and the starry night painting, it’ll be so hilarious and witty"
"i want to be batman though"
"shhhhh mommy needs more followers on pinterest"
we live in a world where pizza gets to your house before the police.
That’s because the pizza guy has consequences if his job is done incorrectly.
but not by the pizza guy
A real statue in Holland. Although it is a statue of Father Christmas, locals will call it butt plug gnome.
god bless butt plug gnome
You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why! Butt Plug Gnome is coming to town!
He plugs you when you’re sleeping, he plugs you when you’re awake! He knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be bad for goodness’ sake!
a snake wearing a top hat and mustache that is all
ah mr sneky,i see u r wering ur fance top
how dare u sir, u disturb my paper towel substrate and rotate same with no gentlemanly warning, i demand satisfaction
Oh my god.